Sometimes I see strange nightmares. There is always frightening situation inside, but the most frightening is usually my reaction on this situation…

     So just night from 16th to 17th was quite strange night. Tomorrow I have to flight from Vienna to Moscow, and I saw a dream, like I am coming to the hairdresser and asking to cut my hairs. And the woman there told me that the daughter of Suharto can cut my hairs - I have to look her downstairs. I am quite happy with good advise going down to another room and enter into the huge basement. 

     Inside is cold and a very poor light coming from some lamps on the ceiling. A lot of different colours naked people lie down on the cold floor, as well to little children one black and one white. It makes me more wonder than frighten what I see there. I realise that people are alive, but I am not trying to help them somehow- like everything is how it have to be. 

     Quite brave I am going several steps and shouting: 'Who is the Suharto daughter here?' One looks like strange indians woman is answering that she is. I am asking if she can make me hair dress. She looks at me from the floor with her sad black eyes and told with some challenge: 'No, I can not! I don't have hands!' That moment I see that she has no hands and feel a bit shocked - because I can not understand now why for I was sent here. To cover my confusion I am saying with a very command voice: 'Correct! You can not!' And moving to the exit.

        Close to the exit I saw three quite happy senior tourists in funny Hawaii shirts wanted to go out. And I am asking them - if they are allowed to go out actually?.. And all of us we are coming then out. 

After I waked up I was not able even to tell this story immediately. There was nothing so frightening in general. Frightening was that from one side I felt that something is happening completely wrong there, but was not able to understand - what... I did not tried to help children at least. But I have thought that I have not forget this place for the case if one day I would need body spare parts. And else I was afraid if I am making everything in accordance with local regulations if that three people will go out with me.
      And all these thoughts so completely contradicted with behaviour which I have in reality! It was frightening like Albert Camus books. You just realised that there are exist somebody who really think so far from your ideals of humanism and empathy, and this somebody may be live in your soul too...

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