(from the archives of theTraffic Police)

1) I wanted to break but did not find the pedal.

2) Yes, I hit a pedestrian. But that it was his fault is proofed by the fact that it happens with him 4 times before!

3) I cannot be at fault of this accident. That young girl in miniskirt walking on the sidewalk has to be blamed! If you are a man, this explanation has to be enough and if you are a woman, you will not understand it anyhow!

4) I saw that the pedestrian does not know which way to go, and I drove over him.

5) I was driving the car. Suddenly the driver in front of me began to flash at once both indicators. I could not understand which way he will turn and crashed into him.

6) Your arguments are ridiculous. You have to find someone more foolish then me, although you will hardly find him.

7) I was driving in the right lane of Prospect Mira in direction of the city center with a speed of 40 km/h. Suddenly a child tarted to cross the road and I had to break. The driver following me decided to play on this situation and crashed into me.

8) Policeman ordered me to stop, and I drove into a pole.

9) Because of the heavy damage my bike and I  had to be towed.

10) My son did not knock over that woman. He drove past her. And bodily injury she got by the air drought.

11) My bike flew off the pavement, rammed the parked Porsche and drove on without me.

12) I was crossing the street. I noticed the car driving towards me from the left. I thought that it will pass by, and took a step back. But it turned again on me. When I noticed this I took two steps forward. The driver did not respond and continued to drive in my direction. Then he shouted, "Stop right there, you idiot!" I stopped and then he drove on me.

13) Last night, returning home, I drove the car into a fence. I am reporting this to cover only the car damage, because I was able to escape from the place of accident unnoticed.

14) According to my estimates, the damage is in between 250,000 and a quarter of million EUR.

15) Close to turn I got the sudden attack of color blindness.

16) The accident opponent crashed into me without telling me before anything about his intentions.

17) The accident occurred because the insured motorbike drove into me with an irresistible horsepower.

18) The pedestrian threw himself on my car and silently disappeared under the wheels.

19) Even before I knocked him over it was clear to me that this old man will not reach the other side of the street.

20) That absolutely invisible car came out of nowhere, knocked me over and then disappeared in the same way. 

21) After four years of driving I fell asleep on the wheel.

22) I crashed into that telephone pole when i wanted to kill a fly. 

23) I've seen the sad face of a pedestrian slowly floating by, and then he hit me in the windshield.

24) The horse was crossing the road without making sure that there are no obstructions!

25) The car of the victim was moving left, then right, then left again, until I finally had no other opportunity then to chrash into it.

26) I drove back and therefore could not see how the car drove in front of me crashed into mine from left and right.

27) The deer's took his legs into his hands and disappeared into the bushes without careing about its wounds.

28) A hare jumped on the road with suicidal intentions. He managed to kill himself which cost me my new bumper.

29) A pedestrian was running along the road. I had to actively maneuver to drove over him.

30) I was driving down the road. Suddenly there where al lot of cars coming from both sides. I did not know where to turn and crashed into the cars in front and behind me.

31) When I turned left my car drove into a vegetable street market (I got the rain from bananas and oranges!). Then it crashed the mailbox standing on the right side and then I was thrown on oncoming traffic lane, crashed two parked cars and fell off the road into a ditch. After that I, unfortunately, lost control of the car.

32) My fiancée showed the policeman, who was working at the accident location everything what is possible to want to be seen.

The source (in Russian)

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